SIX VAMPIRE VARIANTS
Ghost Rider: Final Vengeance #2, Invincible Iron Man #17, Captain America #8, Black Widow & Hawkeye #2, Spider-Boy #6, Spider-Woman #6
As I have mentioned before I don’t generally engage with variant covers on comics, while recognising they’re something the comic industry has chosen to get behind because it helps drive more money their way at a time when things haven’t been going well. I believe that in the future most variants will have lost all value and appeal but there are times when certain covers easily better the ‘A’ cover (the normal one), and may continue to be of interest.
I remain utterly baffled when they do character covers for a plethora of titles. They might chose Wolverine, or Moon Knight, both recent examples, and that character then senselessly adorns the cover of a Spiderman or Hulk comic. It can’t be of that much interest to people, surely?
These six variants reviewed here are different to me, in that they took the Vampire theme in a sensible direction and had many of the covers (but not all) utilising the classic Tomb Of Dracula covers style. So I plumped for a few, blindly optimistic that by then finding myself with a comic I wouldn’t normally read I was subjecting myself to something different. Sort of. Let’s see how that worked out, shall we?
GHOST RIDER FINAL VENGEANCE #2 reminds readers early on that the previous/original Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze) is no more and that there’s a new rider in town, a chap seemingly unable to control his emotions yet and flaming on where it isn’t strictly justifiable, but he’ll learn, so let’s go with it.
He seems a total tosser, this Parker Robbins, a former super bad guy who has lost his family, is alone and barely tormented by his past. He’s looking forward to doing Bad Things on a greater scale, and plans to take over Chicago, to the extent that he chooses to involve the local vampires as allies, explaining he could just incinerate them but maybe they’d like to be involved with the clean-up as there’ll be fatalities galore. Why he needs to do this is not explained.
It’s trash, basically. The only hope of improved storytelling comes at the end when Zeb, some old pal of Johnny’s, appears and is about to dig Johnny up.
GHOST RIDER FINAL VENGEANCE - FORBIDDEN PLANET
I reviewed #15 of INVINCIBLE IRON MAN, but missed the next issue where he would battle the evil Feilon in Australia, but that story is lumbering on here. Tony got injured in the battle, his new Iron Suit shattered, and he’s just laying around having all sorts of dreary dreams.
Then Feilon reappears, fighty fighty ensues, where a defeated Feilon admits he’s cocked up and his hi-tech army has not only swelled in number unbeknownst to him, but been taken over by AI and they now wants to kill humans and mutants alike. Tony contacts Emma to see if any X-Men can offer any help, but none of them can leave what they’re currently involved with but she has asked someone to swing by.
Enter: Magneto!
Yeah, okay. Rubbish issue.
THE INVINCIBLE IRON MAN - FORBIDDEN PLANET
In CAPTAIN AMERICA there has evidently been a story going on where Death and Life have been having a bit of a ding-dong, the way brothers and sisters do. Captain is by Life’s side, and the people they’re trying to protect are in some magical building named the Front Door Cabaret.
Lots of bad things (previously good people now dead) are attacking them, so lots of pointless pithing, then Death appears, acts all moody but leaves without much happening. Life (aka Lyra) tasks Steve with finding and keeping safe other agents of goodness who are trying to reach the Cabaret but will be targeted by Bad Things. So off he goes.
Bollocks, in other words.
CAPTAIN AMERICA - FORBIDDEN PLANET
In the last issue of BLACK WIDOW & HAWKEYE Hawk admitted to assassinating some Russian politician. They amble through some vague references to this without him explaining anything when he gets shot with something poisoned. She sends some of the symbiote stuff she has into him to save him, and there’s a flashback involving a character called Snapdragon. At the end the person who set the attack on Hawk is revealed as Damon Dran, whoever he might be.
Will Hawk survive? Ooh, the tension.
Of course he will.
This was a total waste of my time.,
BLACK WIDOW & HAWKEYE - FORBIDDEN PLANET
Not going well so far, is it? I certainly didn't hold out much hope of SPIDER-BOY being interesting. I’ve become aware he isn’t real, just something created by a woman (Madame Monstrosity) who no longer remembers him, and that she’s also created something called Boy-Spider.
The issue begins with Spider-Boy manacled in her lab and they’re threatening his little mate Christina, about to put her into a machine that will turn her into an animal.
Spider-Boy breaks free but is unable to stop the transformation and Christina becomes … a rather large pigeon! Several wittily handled pages follow where Christina learns what life is going to be like for Humanimals, and by working on Madame Monstrosity’s farm for 13 years she will eventually be turned back.
I actually found this engaging, if a touch cartoony, with Spider-Boy himself resembling a compressed Power Ranger. Then again, Madame’s husband is an owl, and the mouse butler is called Squeakerton. So it’s not all bad.
We don’t see SPIDER-WOMAN herself initially, but Star, a bad girl who is looking for Spider-woman. Star keeps apologising for being bad, then doing bad things. Spider-woman’s bike is out of commission so she takes a train journey, the train being attacked by Star who is eventually appalled to realise she’s endangered so many people and tries to stop the train crashing. Spider-woman saves a child and accepts the grateful parent’s offer of a ride to the nearest station. Not sure why they had a car handy but there you go.
Star could become interesting this and they’ll probably end up mates, but I won’t be trying it again any time soon.
SPIDER-WOMAN. - FORBIDDEN PLANET
So there you go! Mostly piffle, but some very cool covers. Spider-Boy, against the odds, gets the thumbs up.